OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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