Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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