Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
