exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
