So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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