Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
