There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
