Don't you send me to vm
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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