either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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