and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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