This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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