Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
