Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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