i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
