i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you made out with another girl for some wings
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
