Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
