I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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