i already hear my dad disowning me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
