..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
