I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
