I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
