Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
