I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
