the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
