seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
