...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
