I need to stop coming to work sober
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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