Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
