I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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