I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
