Me. At least after what I've been through.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
