Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
