so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
