Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
