guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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