How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
