i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
