I think I am morally bankrupt
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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