you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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