I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
