Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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