All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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