Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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