I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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