Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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