Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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