He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
