Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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