Too much gin, very little bucket
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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