It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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