No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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