Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
