So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
